Therapy for Abuse
What is Abuse?
Abuse is when a person causes harm, injury, or distress to another person through words, actions or behaviour. This harm could be to someone's body (physical) or their mind and feelings (psychological or mental). Mostly, it is not just a one-time event; it often involves a pattern of words and/or actions over time.
Abuse is Not the Victim's Fault
People who abuse others are often in a position where they have power over the other person, or they take advantage of a close or special relationship. Therefore, it's really important to remember this that it's never the fault of the victim.
Different Types of Abuse
Abuse comes in many different forms. These are the most common types of abuse:
Physical Abuse
When someone uses force to hurt, injure, or cause pain to another person. It can cause physical injuries as well as emotional distress and fear.
Emotional or Psychological Abuse
When a person's mental and emotional well-being is targeted. It may involve use of actions or words to control, manipulate, blame, humiliate, or criticise someone, which can hurt how they feel about themselves.
Sexual Abuse
It involves non-consensual (meaning someone didn't agree to it) sexual activity. It can be even non-physical like exposing someone to pornography. It's exploitative, harmful and controlling.
Neglect
When someone intentionally refuses or fails to provide proper care, attention, support, or protection to another person. It can mean not providing basic needs like food, shelter, hygiene, or medical care, or not providing enough supervision. Neglect often doesn't happen by itself; it's common to see other types of maltreatment happening too.
Domestic Violence
Also called domestic abuse, this is a pattern of abusive behaviour that happens in a close relationship, like between partners. It's used to gain control and power over the other person and can include emotional, physical, financial, or sexual abuse.
Financial Abuse
This involves controlling, exploiting, or restricting someone's access to their money or financial resources.
Organisational Abuse
This happens in organisations like workplaces, schools, or care homes where harmful or unethical practices, mistreatment, or lack of support occur. It can also be due to bad policies, abuse of power or neglect of safety.
Discrimination
It is unfair or prejudiced treatment of individuals or groups based on things they do not have control over such as their race, sex, religion, age, disability, or sexual orientation. It can deny people basic rights and create disadvantages.
Bullying
This is when a person or group repeatedly and intentionally harms someone considered weaker. It can happen in many places like schools, workplaces, or even families.
Modern Slavery
This refers to different kinds of exploitation and forced labour that still happen, often involving threats, violence, or abuse of power.
It's important to know that experiencing just one type of maltreatment is uncommon. Often, different types happen at the same time (this is called co-occurrence). For example, neglect rarely happens on its own.
Who Can Be Affected?
Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age. It can occur in romantic relationships, friendships, and even parent-child relationships. Children, the elderly, people with disabilities, or those with severe mental health problems can be especially vulnerable. It's not limited to certain groups based on income or education.
Why is it Hard to Recognize or Leave Abuse?
Recognising abuse can be difficult, especially if someone has lived with it for a long time. It might make a person think that how they are being treated is normal or the "right" way. Abusers also use different methods to make it hard for people to leave, such as making them financially dependent, using children, threatening violence, or using legal issues.
Why Do People Become Abusers?
Power and Control
The causes of emotional abuse, for example, are complex, but some factors mentioned include the abuser wanting power and control, especially in relationships where one person has more power. Abusive behaviour can be something people learn from their families or others.
Mental Health & Past Trauma
Mental health issues, personality disorders such as narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, or past trauma like being abused or neglected as a child can also make someone more likely to be abusive. Substance abuse can also contribute. Sometimes, cultural or societal factors play a role.
Underlying Issues
A lack of empathy or low self-esteem in the abuser can also be factors. Some experts think that unresolved childhood trauma might be a main cause of people psychologically harming others, and the abuser may be suffering themselves but not know it.
The Effects of Abuse
Abuse can have serious and long-lasting effects on people, both physically and psychologically. It can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Here are some effects:
Mental Health Problems
Increased risk of developing conditions like depression, anxiety, and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Symptoms of PTSD can include reoccurring thoughts or flashbacks of the event, avoiding things that remind you of the trauma, emotional numbness, irritability, trouble sleeping or concentrating, and intense emotional reactions. Other issues include panic attacks, and emotional distress.
Difficulty with Relationships
Difficulty in forming and keeping relationships, and you might struggle with trust. It can disrupt the relationship a child has with their caregiver, making them less secure.
Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Low self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth, guilt, or shame. Emotional abuse, in particular, can impact how you feel about yourself and how valuable you think you are.
Coping Difficulties
Struggles with managing emotions, leading to intense feelings of anger, sadness, or anxiety. Survivors might turn to substance abuse (like drugs or alcohol) or other self-destructive behaviours as a way to cope.
Physical Health
It’s been established that early trauma can disrupt the body's stress response system, which can lead to changes in how the body handles stress. It may also increase the risk for physical illnesses later on. For girls, sexual abuse and neglect have been linked to different patterns of weight gain in adolescence compared to girls who weren&t abused. Sexual abuse in girls has also been linked to earlier puberty.
Brain Changes
Influence on the structure and function of the brain. Areas of the brain important for memory, learning, executive functions (like impulse control), emotional regulation, anxiety, and stress can be affected. Specific areas like the amygdala (involved in fear), hippocampus (memory), and prefrontal cortex (emotional regulation) can change. Amygdala activity might increase, making someone more sensitive to threats.
Behavioural Problems
Abuse can lead to acting-out behaviours, including age-inappropriate sexual behaviours, delinquency, and substance use. These issues can continue into adulthood.
Research shows that experiencing maltreatment, even beyond just living in a difficult neighbourhood, adds an extra risk for developing mental health problems.
Getting Help and Treatment
Overcoming abuse can be difficult to do on your own. Seeking professional help is highly recommended. Therapy or counselling provides a safe and confidential space to cope with the issues caused by abuse.
Therapy can help you explore whether what you're experiencing is abuse and assist you in taking steps to end an abusive relationship. Persistent efforts can help you escape feelings of helplessness, restore self-esteem, learn healthy coping strategies, and help you trust yourself and others again.
For those currently in an emotionally abusive relationship, having a counsellor can be a safe way to help prevent the abuse from escalating.
Types of therapy for abuse-related mental health issues include:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
- Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT), designed for children affected by sexual abuse or trauma. It helps children and parents process traumatic experiences and learn coping skills.
- Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
- Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Counselling & Psychotherapy
- Family Therapy, Couples Therapy, and Group Therapy can also be helpful.
- Person-Centred Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) are also mentioned.
Things you can do to cope:
- Acknowledge the abuse and understand triggers and coping mechanisms.
- Engage in physical activities like yoga and meditation to feel more centered and enhance self-esteem.
- Reach out for help from trusted people, which can provide emotional strength.
- Practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself.
- Learn about healthy relationships and boundaries to recognise signs of abuse and set limits.
Cultural Factors
Cultural factors can sometimes make it harder for people to report abuse. In some cultures, ideas like male dominance and norms that discourage speaking out can lead to victims being blamed or rejected when they report abuse.
Understanding these cultural differences is important, especially for those in legal or law enforcement roles, to provide proper support. Providers should also be sensitive to the different cultural backgrounds of their clients.
Trauma-Informed Care
Because trauma, often from abuse, has widespread and lasting effects, many services are trying to become "trauma-informed". This means understanding that trauma is common and affects people's health and behaviour. A trauma-informed approach involves:
- Understanding the wide impact of trauma and how people can recover.
- Recognising the signs of trauma in individuals, families, and staff.
- Using knowledge about trauma in policies and practices.
- Trying to avoid accidentally re-traumatizing people. This means not doing things that might remind someone of their traumatic experiences and cause them distress.
A trauma-informed approach asks "what happened to you?" Instead of asking "what's wrong with you?", while still holding people responsible for their actions.
Overall, abuse is a complex issue with many forms and serious effects. However, with the right support and therapeutic approaches, healing and recovery are possible.
If you're looking to talk to someone, feel free to reach out by clicking on 'schedule consultation' below or just give us a call and our experts will guide you.
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